BUDDY



WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO PUT PROWL IN SUNSTREAKER'S PACKAGING? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALIKE? THIS IS THE SORT OF MISCONCEPTION THAT WILL RUIN TRANSFORMERS FOREVER. I DO NOT KNOW WHICH ONE WOULD BE MORE INSULTED BY THIS.

HE'S NOT EVEN A REPAINT.

Final papers are very slowly dissolving my head. :(

Until I can take care of that little problem, here, I just officially either made or ruined your day.

I mean, talk about an unfortunate expression. Paint him in varying shades of gray and you could plunk him smack-dab into Steamboat Willie and nobody would be the wiser. I can't wait to see who else gets this PHHHHT OH MY GOD GUYS DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?

It is a glorious summer, friendslist. I feel as if it has ridden to me on the back of a gryphon.

I am something of a screaming fangirl for Hound. The quiet kind of screaming fangirl, but the fact that I get all stupid over Hound-related stuff is unchanging (something ko_pilot knows all too well at this point). And now, they're making toys. So many Hound toys. Three! The one with Ravage is going to have elbows. This is a happy day. And while his Universe toy isn't out here yet, I did manage to snag his teeny tiny Robot Heroes toy a couple weeks ago.

Holy shit. He's adorable. Even if I try to get rid of most of my I-Love-Hound bias, this is still a really cute toy. He's a highly-articulated shrunken version of himself (he comes with Blitzwing, who has joined Shrapnel, Bonecrusher and Thundercracker, among others, on the Aisle of Transformers who Came with Someone I Really Liked). He's also oozing Hound personality with the most enthusiastic face ever, and because you can bend him at the waist and shoulders, you can pose him like he's turning around and waving you over, telling you to hurry your ass up because this is Adventure Time, and it is going to be totally math.

Pictures and a list of things Hound loevs under the cut:

( My photography is absolutely terrible. )

On another note, I have gotten a number of amazing birthday gifts from my friends that'll be detailed in a later post (Tiny Abe Sapien was one of the presents). I love you guys all so much and I could never say "thank you" enough for them. Let me just tell you now: the picture of Officer Scrumptious that I received is chock full of nothing less than mind-blowing sexery.

I bought Prowl a couple of weeks ago because my plan was to take pictures of him high-fiving Bulkhead a la "Total Meltdown" anywhere that would allow me to stick a rediculous caption reminiscent of The Todd underneath the photo. I had such grandiose visions of them high-fiving near a Starbucks cup (pretentiousness-five!), a Cruel Intentions DVD (incest-five!) and on top of my dad's motorcycle (redundancy-five!). Alas, this was not to be because Bulkhead's mind-blowing shortness combined with his inability to reach to Prowl's height and the fact that Prowl doesn't bend at the wrists (he's still a prick, even as a toy) made this task impossible. I guess I'll have to wait for Leader-class Bulkhead, which I am absolutely going to buy because fuck you, it's Bulkhead.

I mean, he's really short. ( Napoleonic complex short. )

Despite my plan being shot to hell, I still had Prowl. And hey, while we're talking about Prowl, let's talk about how I once again failed to heed wisdom. I read the Shortpacked blog regularly, and Willis gave a glowing review of his toy with the exception of him noting that Prowl's legs were pretty easy to pop off. "Ha ha," I murmured. "How rough do you have to be transforming him that that's going to happen?" So then I went out and got Prowl. And then I transformed Prowl.

By my count, I made him a quadruple amputee no less than three times. Prowl became Torso Boy with alarming regularity, shedding limbs the same way that a snake sheds its skin. I would reattach an arm or leg, only to have it fly off again as soon as I tried to progress to the next stage of his transformation. I actually gave up and left one leg lying on my desk until the other one popped off, prompting me to reattach both before I forgot which leg went where. But when all is said and done, Prowl is very deserving of all the praise he gets. His toy is spot-on with the character model and easy to pose (despite the lack of articulation at the wrists, which will forever burn my biscuits because THAT'S THE ONE AREA I NEEDED HIM TO BEND AT), and man am I ever jealous of his cheekbones. However, I noticed something about Prowl as soon as I deployed his legs.

Prowl, for lack of a more delicate term, is packing.

You think I'm being facetious. You think I'm joking. But no. Prowl is 100% man, and he is not ashamed to show the world.

( Stay classy, Prowl. )

Absolutely surreal, no? That is a dick on a dick. This makes handling him 502572548 times more awkward, because every time I moved his leg, or popped a leg back on, or turned his waist, THERE IT WAS. And I would go, "eugh, pseudo-robo-wang!" and drop him, causing his leg to fly off again. I felt like I was breaching some form of etiquette. I kept wanting to state a disclaimer every time I got near It, saying something like "I swear to god, I really don't want to molest you, but I have to. Just lie back and think of Iacon." All because Prowl decided to go commando and forgot that he also doesn't wear pants.

However, I can't very well just cut It off because that would hurt my mind even worse, so Prowl's dong stays as God and Hasbro intended. I am working on coming to terms with this, and have given It the name of Claude.

The next Animated figure on my to-get list is Lockdown, so he and Prowl can have a sissy slap fight.

( Due to some minor spoilers, my thoughts on Johann Krauss's figure are under the cut. )

But fuck that, I wanted to take some pictures of Hellboy characters schmoozing with Transformers, and that was what I was fuckin' going to do.

( I still maintain that a TF/Hellboy crossover would be nothing short of orgasmic. )