Several things:

A) The funding for my father's job in California fell through. So I'm still stuck in this landlocked dust farm until further notice.

B) LOL HI FALL CLASSES I GUESS I SHOULD REGISTER FOR YOU NOW HUH? It's only the second-to-last week of the semester and stuff.

I'm going to go get a degree in astrophysics, build a time machine, go back to high school and kick the shit out of my younger self for not studying more for the SATs, because I'm trapped in English 101 and I can't submit a portfolio to get out of 102 until I complete that course. I would not be so miffed if this wasn't due to my own blistering stupidity. Maybe I'll get good proofreading tips.

C) 'scuse me, but I'm pretty sure that both of my public speaking courses' credits transferred. LET ME INTO FOUNDATIONS OF ACTING NOW PLZ.

D) I'M GOIN' BACK TO LONG ISLAND THIS SUMMER. PARTY TIME

Okay, back to my paper on the applications of osteology in archaeology. Just as soon as I get rid of this headache.

So I got a comprehensive tour of SUNY Buffalo's biological anthropology department. Here are the reasons why my day was probably more interesting than yours:

-I got to hold a walrus skull.
-I now know what monkey soup smells like.
-I got to see dissections being performed on a macaque, chimpanzee, and a human (WHICH WAS CRAZY AWESOME LET ME TELL YOU INTERNET).
-I was holding and gesturing with a human hip bone as I talked to the grad student showing me around.
-I got to see tons upon tons of monkey fetuses in varying stages of development.
-I got to see human skulls with various cranial defects.
-Embalmed things smell funny.

And it was just me and the grad student. I felt like a special pretty princess for an hour as we talked about tuition costs and what my study path should be if I choose UB for a grad school.

Man, but the dead guy's skin resembled a pile of wrinkled wet flesh-colored towels with toenails.

I've been mired in emotional indifference for the past few days, and I'm not liking it. I wasn't even excited for waffles this morning. Why hello, crushing guilt, how are we doing today?

This week's totally going to be the week from hell. I have to pick up my keys to the lit mag office, bagels to mail out, a paper due, a midterm, a bake sale to attend, two books to read, submissions to go over for the lit mag, and I have to start my online anthropology project. This is over the course of three days. I'm sure I'll be able to handle it; I'm just not that enthusiastic about the idea.

BOY DO I LOVE ACADEMIA. How fun is it going to be if I decide to go for my Master's? Dur hur.

I plan on going home for fall break and faceplanting into my bed for three days.

John McCain spoke at our campus today! I was bummed that I didn't get a ticket to see him (I may not agree with his politics, but a presidential candidate on campus is really exciting nonetheless), but it turns out that the Obama supporters were rallying outside of the building, and that made for a much more interesting afternoon anyway. I got major LOLs at some of the signs there.

( They were speaking loud and fast through a haze of noise and heat, and the smell of sweat and anger in the air. )

I think Obama's due to speak here soon. I want to go so badly, you have no idea. I'm probably going to have to get up at four in the morning to get tickets, though.

There's a bunch of things I was expecting when I decided to go to UNM. Bad food. Drunk people on my floor. Bad teachers. Skateboarders.

Attending a school-endorsed ritual effigy burning was not on the list.

( A very picture intense report of Red Rally. )

I originally had a big entry in the works about my adventures playing Hipster Bingo in my music theory class. That's sidelined, however, for this news:

I'm the new fiction editor for the literary magazine of the University of New Mexico, Conceptions Southwest.

An editor. I thought I was just going to be on staff, but I'm an editor, which is certainly a very nice feather in my cap. Now I just need to prove that I'm deserving of such a big responsibility. It's certainly going to be a load of work, but I'm so excited to start this and show everyone that I'm going to be good at my job, and certainly up for this. I'm going home tomorrow to pick up a bunch of editing books from my dad to brush up.

Bring it.

(But not right at this very moment, as I am writing two papers, re-writing a third, and studying for two tests for the coming week. Eh-heh. I should probably get used to that.)

Hark, friendslist! Do you smell that? That faint odor of food in the beginning stages of putrification? Crane your necks up, and I'm sure you can smell it. You smell it, don't you? The smell of garbage?

My bad. That's coming from my residence hall.

( Onward! )

Holy CRAP. I just got this message on Facebook:

Hello Colleen,

How creepy it must be to get a message from a stranger! I apologize if this out-of-the-blue message freaks you out a bit at first, but you’ll understand the logic behind it once you finish reading it.

My cousin, Jackie Maloney, from Long Island mentioned that she had an old friend transfer to UNM. I asked for your name in order to look up your Facebook profile and see if we have run into each other. Jackie read a few of your notes and praised your writing skills and sense of humor, so I became interested to see who you are. I skimmed your most recent note and also love the way you portrayed your hit-and-run date proposal experience.

Since you’re new to the UNM campus and may be looking for activities, I thought suggesting UNM’s fine art and literature magazine, Conceptions Southwest, might be worth a try. Based on the interests you highlighted in your profile and on your pages and posted items, it seems safe to assume you have an interest in writing, grammar and art. CSW is the place to use your talents. It’s an annual publication open to all UNM students, staff, faculty and alumni. I’m the editor of the 2009 issue and am currently rounding up a staff. From the looks of things, you have much to offer as a staff member, and I would be delighted if you’d pick up an application in Marron Hall room 107 or drop by and see me in the CSW office Marron Hall room 225. I’m in the office from 9-12 MWF and 11-1 TR. Even if you feel like you have a full schedule and are unable to make a big commitment, I’d encourage you to submit to CSW this fall. If you are interested and would like more info, visit the Web site (which desperately needs to be re-designed) www4.unm.edu/csw or contact me.

I hope you are less freaked-out now and look forward to your reply.

Jennifer

I cannot believe that I was just offered the opportunity to work on the campus literary magazine. Somebody actually took the time to track me down, read my stuff, and decide that they want me to apply for a job. That drive-by date story was hardly even my best work.

SOMEBODY CARES.

Another new experience in college: I was the subject of a hit-and-run date proposal.

Let's start from the beginning.

By 1:00 this afternoon, I was already quite tired, hot, and unbearably thirsty from spending several hours walking around campus and trying to find where my classes are, and seeing as it's Sunday, there wasn't a store open on campus. The meal hall was open, true, but I didn't want to give up one of my meal plan points just to get a fuckin' drink of water. The vending machines don't accept twenties, which was what I needed to break. However, I remembered that there was a Starbucks at the bookstore, and Starbucks generally sells drinks.

Success!

So I darted off to the bookstore for the second time today, ignoring the joggers on the athletic field I pass by, broke my twenty, chugged a milk while waiting for my Vivanno (I was really thirsty) and decided to head back to my dorm, where I can get back to reading 8 Ball Girls. The road back to Coronado Hall is hot, dusty, and my flip flops were chafing, so i really just wanted to get back to my air-conditioned dorm and book. I noticed that one dude was jogging backwards in front of me, and I thought that was cool because I can't do that without risking serious bodily harm, but I was honestly more focused on my iPod. I round the corner, and I see my dorm in the distance. I also see Backwards Jogger, who's now going forwards. Towards me. I noticed him in my peripheral vision, and when it was apparent that he either wanted to talk to me or barrel into me head-first, I braced myself.

"Hi!" He says, coming up next to me. "Are you new here?"

Aw, fuck. My book about girl gang bangers would have to wait.

"Yeah," I said, taking off my headphones. "I'm from New York."

"Oh, so you're far away from home, too?"

"Yeah."

So he introduced himself as Ben, from Austin, Texas, and decided to talk to me. We talked about how, yes, being from Long Island means that I am from New York, and Little Italy, etc etc, in the two most awkward minutes that I'd had so far today. I think he asked me if I've ever seen a mafioso. And then, he said "so, do you want to hang out some time?"

I think "hang out" is actually code for "go out;" I'm not very up to date on evasive vernacular. But at any rate, I have only had to deal with a scenario involving me getting asked out once, so I did what any emotionally-retarded person does, and stammered as I tried to ascertain whether this was a platonic or non-platonic offer. If it was, then we cool. If not, then sorry, but no dice, dude. However, I'll never know what Ben meant, because as soon as I said "uhm," he went "okay," and jogged the fuck off like some gazelle with a tattoo on his chest before I could get a word in edgewise.

Ben, I still don't know what the fuck you were getting at, but no hard feelings, dude. I hope you manage to woo another girl with your backwards-running skills and chest tattoo. Shine on, you crazy devil from Austin.

Class starts tomorrow! In preparation, I'm buying books and getting lost on campus as I try to find where everything is. On Mondays, ten minutes after one class ends, another one starts in a different building-I'm trying to time myself to make sure I can get there in time. The bookstore's pretty much a zoo, but I got all of my materials. My roommate also moved in yesterday, and she seems to be a nice sort, if not a very low talker. But she's polite and doesn't mess with my stuff, so she is A+. I just feel old because I have to ask her to repeat almost everything she says.

Also, if anyone here is looking for a meal that is healthy (healthier than cup noodles, at least), tasty and easy for any kitchen-impaired folks to deal with, I would recommend Annie Chun's noodle bowls. I just got done with her udon noodle bowl, and I, a staunch omnivore, must voice my love of this vegan product. Even the bowls are biodegradable. I had the pad thai the other night and I was actually sad when I finished.

Tomorrow, we rumble.

LET'S DO DIS

Edit: I also figured out the first kind of food that UNM fails at: coffee. Their coffee tastes like insta-puke juice. However, their granola cereal and apples (which is what I've been getting for breakfast) are decent. No word yet on the pizza. I am slightly scared to try it.

So I moved in today.

( My half of the dorm room! )

And I'm all tuckered out from moving. But I'm amped for classes to start! I'll do a campus-wide photo post soon. :]

GOIN' TO COLLEGE, BRB

A few nights ago I had a dream that this absolutely horrid art teacher I had in high school turned into an even nastier version of Hands for Feet (she looked like a burn victim) in an antique shop, and I killed her by throwing her into a gay mirror. Seriously. It was a gay mirror. There were rainbows and shit coming out of it. And then my smoking hot girlfriend and I decided to walk around NYC because that's where the antique shop was.

And I won't be able to see Batman with dad tomorrow because I have orientation for college. I'm really glad I managed to wriggle into this session instead of the August 22nd one, because this gives me a larger window that the original three-day one to go shopping and get books and whatall, but at the same time... IT'S BATMAAAAN WITH DAAAAAD.

So, uh, anyway. Snagged this from frozenlullabye

QUESTION MEME:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

(You can expect my questions to be mostly silly, with one or maybe two srs bsnss ones tossed in there.)

( So here are her questions to me and my answers. )

( And another one. The Draw Yourself as a Teenager meme, which I decided to embarrass myself by doing. )